Monday, March 8, 2010

Wacky T.A.

So in my Art History class I have this very bizarre T.A. who is always saying random and rather inappropriate things. After hearing such comments, I decided to write some of them. Enjoy :)

Keep in mind that this is an art history class...
TA: Can you believe that I've never seen a real penis before?
*class stares in disbelief.*
TA: I'm just kidding, you guys. Of course I've seen a penis.

TA: When you use that hand sanitizer thingy, where do all the cooties go?
Student: Um...They die.
TA: Well, duh, but do they disappear or do I just have dead cooties in my hand right now?

*showing us a picture in a blue and red dress/garment.*
TA: Can anybody tell me what does the color symbolize in her dress?
Student: Well, since the Virgin Mary is always painted in blue and red clothing, maybe it's an allusion to her?
TA (rolling eyes): Oh please, I wear blue and red and I'm not a virgin.

TA: So from your reading, what is idealism?
Student1: (wrong answer)
TA: Well, not really. Anybody else?
Student2: Its when the beauty of human is shown through nature.
TA: That's right so in other words your looking at idealism perfected (points at and touches herself).

*analyzing Michelangelo's David.*
TA: Michelangelo's David showed the idealization and perfection of the human body. But looking around the room we see nothing of that. Come on guys, go to the gym or something if you wanna get some girls.

Yeah, so that pretty much sums up my TA. Seriously there is something wrong with her. She is not very bright,, as you could tell, but I must say that she keeps the class somewhat entertaining by saying things like this...She's not bad-looking either...

Cosmic Question: If you place a chameleon in a room of mirrors, what color does it turn?
Currently Listening to: Spose "I'm Awesome"

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Is Yoshi a male?

What are you hiding down there Yoshi?

Ok...I know what you're thinking. Of course he is male. Well, it just so happens that it is not as black and white as I had once thought.

After a few drinks, my friend and I got into an argument over Yoshi's ambiguous gender. I argued that Yoshi was a male. To my knowledge, he's always been referred to as HE.

He, however, brought some interesting points:
- Yoshi lays eggs. Therefore SHE is female
- There is no proof that Birdo and Yoshi are romantic partners.
- Wikipedia lists Birdo's gender as ambiguous.
- Yoshi can potentially be a species. Therefore there could be male and female Yoshis. (e.g. Pink Yoshis are female. Blue and Green are male...etc.
- If Birdo were the female equivalent of Yoshi, then that would mean Birdo would be able to give offspring to Yoshi.

My arguments were as follows:
- King Piccolo lays eggs and his gender is not in question.
- In games, Yoshi is always referred to as "he".
- While Mario gets paired up with Peach and Luigi with Daisy, Yoshi always gets paired up with Birdo which is at least suggestive.
- Yoshi is referred to as "he" in wikipedia not "it" or "she"
- Pink is Nintendo's color for girls. Jigglypuff, Peach, AND Birdo.
- Yoshi is a boy's name.

I must admit it is completely plausible for Yoshi to be a species, although I always grew up thinking he was always male, regardless of his color. Then again my friend did bring up some intriguing arguments... What do you think?

Friday, January 15, 2010

Zimbabwe's $100,000,000,000,000 bill!

Hello, everyone!

Random Finding: Okay, so while stumbling I find this

It's a Zimbabwean one hundred trillion dollar bill. That's right, no typo That's 100,000,000,000,000! Apparently, the hyperinflation is pretty bad over there (the worst in the world in fact), considering that the one hundred trillion dollar bill is currently worth $33 US dollars. So, having this in mind what is the Zimbabwean one dollar bill worth? Just about as much as food samples from Costco. I also read that kids won't even bother to pick up billion dollar bills off the streets! I can imagine their conversations right now:

Kid: Mommy, can i buy the chocolate?
Mom: How much does it cost?
Kid: Um...50
Mom: 50 what?
Kid: 50...billion dollars.
Mom: Oh, wow...Is it on sale or something? *hands money*
Cashier: Here's your change. *hands 100 million dollar bill*.

Or here's another possible scenario:
Guy1: Hey I bet you anything she's not single
Guy2: Okay I'll bet about 200 billion dollars?
Guy1: Dude, what am i gonna buy with that? 500 billion dollars or nothing.
Guy1: OK.
*approaches the girl in club.*
Guy1: Excuse me are you, single.
Chick: Yes
Guy2: Ooh. I'll take you home for 1 trillion bucks.
Chick: I'm not some kind of cheap prostitute!

No, but in all seriousness, that is not right! Who's running the government over there? What is wrong with this world? That's it for now, but for now you can chose between these two rather unpleasant situations.

Would you rather: Have sex with an animal of your choice or drink 5 cups of your friends vomit. Vote on the right side of the page and comment below with your answers.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Top 9 Family Guy Supplementary Characters

Here's a list of the Top 9 Family Guy supplementary or supporting characters in my opinion. Anyone in the main family (or main group of Peter's friends) are excluded. UPDATE: I also made a list of the Top 50 Family Guy clips. which can be seen by clicking the link.

9. Evil Monkey
Yes, the famous monkey that inexplicably lives in Chris's closet. Named the Evil Monkey by Chris, this monkey will stay in the closet, only to come out in certain situations and point at Chris with an evil grimace, and then returns to his haven. Recently, he was given a back story and an explanation for his existence in the episode Hannah Banana.

8. Dr. Hartman
This clueless doctor with humorous dialogue makes it to number 8 in my list. He is always saying outrageous things to scare the patients into thinking they have something worse by blurting out lines like "You're going to die" and "This isn't good."

7. Jasper
Jasper is Brian's flamboyantly gay cousin. He lives in Hollywood and he dates a hairless, skinny Filipino boy. He allows Brian to stay in his apartment while he was producing porn movies in Hollywood. His dirty, suggestive, yet hilarious jokes earns him the #7 spot.

6. Ernie, The Giant Chicken
Yes, the Chicken was a great addition to the Family Guy series. It all started when the Chicken gave Peter an expired food coupon, which Peter didn't take lightly and a fight ensued. Yes a long drawn-out 4 minute brawl. Now, aside from some attempted truces, they will go at it anytime they are within a mile radius of each other.

5. Mr. Herbert - Spooner St.'s favorite elderly pedophile is at #5. He can be found stalking Quahog's younger residents, especially Chris Griffin, with whom he tries to seduce on a constant basis. He comes up short and doesn't have much success but that doesn't prevent him from trying. Also, he has an old dog with no working hind legs. Go figure.

4. Ollie Williams
Quahog's channel five weather reporter, Ollie Williams, is a man of a few words, but whenever he opens his mouth it's to yell out his weather report, try to sell a puppy, or some other ridiculous action. Seriously, I have no idea how he keeps his job since he's an awful reporter, but then again Tom Tucker isn't so great himself.

3. Consuela
Damn, I laughed so hard the first time I saw Consuela, the stereotypical Mexican maid. She was first seen in Superman's house responding "No. Mr.Superman no here" when Joe asked her if he can give Superman a flier. Like hte evil monkey she also got to star in her own episode. Other hilarious quotes include "I need more lemon pledge." and "No, doggie afuera" Go to youtube right now and watch her.

2. Greased-Up Deaf Guy
Ok, I'm a fan of this guy. This is just one of those characters that is just so random it's funny. With a hillarious whiny voice this greased-up deaf guy runs around in his underwear greased-up, while others try to catch him or stop his havoc.

1. Buzz Killington
This character is so relatable. Whenever you're at a party, there's always one guy (a buzz kill) that will ruin a party and this hyperbole of that "party pooper" is absolutely splendid. His "jokes" aren't remotely funny but it's his delivery and his belief that they are that makes this character my favorite supplementary Family Guy character.

So that's it. What are your picks? Do you somewhat agree with my list? Comment below!